Empathy and listening are often labelled as “soft skills” and considered optional. In fact, they are now essential leadership capabilities.
Traditionally, leadership focused on decisiveness and authority, while listening was viewed as passive. Today, with distributed teams and higher expectations, employees seek understanding and direction.
This shift highlights a gap: leaders often manage performance without fully understanding their team members.
Empathy involves understanding others’ needs, thoughts, and perspectives. It is not about agreement or avoiding difficult conversations, but about achieving clarity.
Yet, this is often harder than it seems.
Leaders naturally and unconsciously move from observation to assumption and conclusion. This is a mental shortcut that can distort understanding if left unchecked.
Research has shown that leaders who demonstrate empathy are viewed as stronger performers by their own managers and are more effective at building trust and collaboration within teams.
Empathy is a key driver of performance, not just a personal trait.
Listening is central to effective leadership.
Effective listening allows leaders to identify underlying concerns, misalignment, or burnout, rather than just surface feedback. This awareness is crucial as work-life boundaries become less defined. Studies also show that leaders who actively listen are better able to detect early signs of overwork and disengagement before they escalate.
However, many leaders overestimate their listening skills.
Research supports this gap. Studies suggest that only about 15% of people are truly self-aware, and there is less than a 30% correlation between how competent individuals believe they are and how competent they actually are.
In my experience working with teams, I’ve often seen situations where leaders believe they have communicated clearly, but the real issue was that they had not fully understood what their teams were facing. In one instance, what seemed like a solid plan quietly eroded the team’s morale and spirit. They were stretched beyond their limits, and what hurt most wasn’t the
workload but that they had given up on being heard. That experience reshaped how I think about leadership: good communication isn’t one-directional. It means giving clear instructions and genuinely listening, reading the room, and offering support before people have to ask for it.
In practice, listening often becomes waiting to speak or filtering input through assumptions.
Effective listening requires understanding intent, emotion, and context. It means paying attention not only to what is said, but also to tone, behaviour, and unspoken cues that reveal deeper concerns.
The consequences of poor listening are significant.
When employees feel unheard, disengagement increases. Ideas are withheld, concerns remain unspoken, and decisions are based on incomplete information. Over time, trust declines and team performance suffers.
Conversely, leaders who consistently demonstrate empathy through listening achieve tangible results. Employees feel respected, trust increases, and teams collaborate more effectively. Research shows that empathetic leadership improves communication, strengthens relationships, and contributes to better organisational performance.
Empathetic leadership also enables leaders to identify and address issues before they escalate.
Empathy is not an inherent trait limited to a few; it is a skill that can be developed. Research suggests that with the right support, such as coaching, feedback, and intentional practice, leaders can strengthen their ability to understand and connect with others.
Practical steps make a real difference. Leaders should check in regularly with teams, discussing not only tasks but also workload and wellbeing. They can show genuine interest in individual goals and support employees through personal challenges.
Perspective-taking is equally important. It involves understanding situations from another person’s viewpoint. This skill is increasingly important in today’s diverse, cross-cultural workplaces and is vital for effective leadership.
Ultimately, empathy and listening do not slow leadership; they make it more informed.
In fast-changing workplaces, understanding employees’ motivations and pressures enables leaders to make better decisions and build stronger teams.
Today’s most effective leaders are not those who speak the most, but those who understand the most.
About the author
Melvin Lee Rong Hui is Head of Operations & Marketing at gentleHelp, a Singapore maid agency on a mission to modernise the domestic helper placement experience. A former Singapore Armed Forces officer, Melvin served for 11 years across manpower, logistics, and overseas exercise command. During his time as a Manpower Officer, he spent a year and a half inducting, counselling, and matching servicemen to suitable postings — an experience he now draws on to place domestic helpers with the right families. He holds a BSc in Information Systems from SMU.
